You've been asking. I actually stabbed him! 😓😓 Oh yes I did and I was crying profusely because I just knew I had lost it all. He may be in hell; I really don't care! How on earth could I make such a mistake?! I was sooooo scared to even go home to my parents. I knew that if my father set his eyes on me, he would make use of the cutlass! African parents!!! Sometimes, kthey exaggerate our stupidity. No one ever wants to be stupid; people like me only fall a prey. They weren't helping matters at all. They only care about what people would say about the family name; like name had any impact in the true existence of love and humanity and even child training.
Oh! I wished they cared about me; at least for one bad time. I wished they made proper use of their parental power of love. When family is lost, physically and psychologically speaking, all is lost. So, I just told myself that all was lost since family had no hope in me. If I gained their love, believe me, I wouldn't have gone farther than what they already called tragedy.
While I sat in Peters' one room apartment, of course thinking about what to do with my unborn and unwanted baby, I could hear his voice from the bathroom ten meters away, laying abuses on me; emphazing on the fact that I was too stupid not to have played my game well; thereby creating an emergency liability of myself for him. Men are so wicked and so stupid.
I couldn't believe my ears that the man who wouldn't eat if he didn't see me any day turned his back on me in this painful situation. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought love was to be given ultimate priority when I ignorantly compromised my principles just to prove how much I loved Peter. How untrustworthy man is!!! Was I also suppose to play games for Peter? The only man my heart did truly beat for; who showed his love towards me beyond his family love. Maybe God wanted to teach my stiffness of neck a lesson. But God! This experience is too harsh for me!
After nine months of pregnancy, the most terrible thing happened to me! I lost my baby boy. Okay? Please don't believe it because if you do, you would begin to pity me and of course freshen my wounded heart by saying sorry to me. Peter never asked me how I was doing for those nine months. Now, my baby is gone! Where is the love I fought for?! A dirty love. A love so imperfect. I had to stab him, so I knew I was living for nothing.
Ken, God will bless you for me. You walked into the prison on that fateful morning and taught me Christ and his love. Now, I regret stabbing Peter because I've learnt one precious thing; 'ONLY THE LOVE OF CHRIST IS PERFECT'. No matter how man tries, he consciously or unconsciously causes hurt in another's heart. I wish I met Christ from the beginning. Principles are not enough to maintain discipline, but God's grace earned by being his child.
Now, I can love without expecting that the love of man should be perfect. However, not deliberately working towards bringing out the imperfections or resisting the little love human can afford; being created in the image of Jesus Christ.
I think you too should tolerate others who cannot love you up to your expectation. No one can love you without hurting you; no one! God is love and love is incomplete without God. Love is not painful, humans inflict pain on love.
I STILL LOVE PETER.
I LOVE YOU TOO, KEN FOR LEADING ME TO CHRIST💕
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH JESUS FOR TEACHING ME PERFECT LOVE!
Thank you so much.
Your Sister in Christ,